I spoke with Mirtai regarding her future. From our past conflicts and her recent tumult I had expected that she would be eager for the opportunity to leave and have a better home elsewhere. I had been considering options for some time now. She would make an excellent addition to someone’s household, with her newly acquired skills and obedient demeanor.
But when I broached the topic, Mirtai reacted strongly, and negatively. She fell to her knees and begged that I not send her away. She feared that she had somehow displeased us, and in our discontent we would cast her out. I was stunned.
She claimed that if she was sent away, her origins would be discovered and she would be killed. I tried to assure her that I would not allow this to happen. But she began to weep and pleaded with me. I had not realized that she had grown comfortable here, though it is not a standard household and she is unpaid for her labors. But it seems that she has overcome her reservations regarding our prior rivalry, and I have not accomplished the same.
I feel ashamed. Into her eyes I gazed and no longer see the hopelessness and despair that there was, but there is fear and confusion yet. Am I truly that hateful?
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