Tea with the Beloved

When trying to think of a proper word to label this event, I do not believe that there is a perfect descriptor. However, one word that kept returning to my mind was "remarkable."

To write it simply, my beloved and I invited Nemeiah to tea. She accepted, and we met and chatted in comfortable fashion. Not at home, certainly, but in a safe place. 

I confess that I enjoyed her immediate surprise at seeing just who D.A. was. Nem's grace and tolerance afterwards, needing only a moment to adjust was quite-- well the word has been used.

Nothing of great moment was discussed or done, yet I was profoundly pleased at how easy the two mingled. It caused me to wonder just why I had been so nervous and dreadfully thorough in planning, preparing and keeping the meeting a secret. Though perhaps it all was necessary and that did have impact, I do not know.

Still, there is no way to return to prior status now that this step is made. I entreated Nem to tell no one what she saw and learned.

The Good Days

Notwithstanding the tumult in Orgrimmar and Kalimdor, the ravaging of the new lands in the south and the accelerated intrusion of memories into my mind, these days have been good ones.

My beloved and I are both hale and engrossed in our tasks. For me that involves taking advantage of the economic opportunities brought by Garrosh's idiocy. It is a goblin's market. I brought the initial gains home the other night and was given praise (with all of the required paperwork because D.A. demands receipts).

Kruega has returned from his journeys, though temporarily I expect, and I had the pleasure of informing Nemeiah of it. Though he has now retreated from Orgrimmar and I cannot blame him for this. 

I even managed a few interesting conversations with strangers, despite the complaints recorded on these pages. 

All of these notes are not to claim that all is well and perfect, nor do I anticipate that things will remain positive and stable. I am attempting to enjoy when it is, while it is, without reservation or guilt.

Disgraceful

Yet again I am reminded of why I no longer claim kinship with the elves of Silvermoon. Yesterday I passed some time in Orgrimmar on business and in search of Nem (who hopefully has retreated elsewhere, given the troll unrest). I was unfortunate and overheard what constituted a "conversation" between several Sin'dorei.

The verbosity of our race is legend, I concede. Yet it is disgraceful to see men and women so clearly of consequence and education use an excessive number of words to say so little. Really, they said nothing at all and sounded so dreadfully self-important as they did. There was another in their gathering that openly drank the blood of one of the sand-lizards during their discussion, which was repulsive. 

When I made some small motion, driven to rub away the headache, the leader of the group turned from the lady (who was still speaking to him, mind you) to ask what bothered me. I decided not to answer, waiting for her to continue as would be proper in a civilized environment. He became aggressive and asked if I was mute, or simply rude, as he had addressed me.

I replied that he had. And said nothing else.

He then showed disdain and attempted to recover his pride by suggesting that he would never receive an answer, and that was well with him. (I still cannot fathom how he could not understand the simple proprieties of conversation and how boorish he was behaving).

To which I told him that when he was capable of conversation, we would chat. Then I walked away as I could watch for Nem from a different location without being exposed to such banality. 

Gren'mazi

He is a troll with crimson mane and appropriately incendiary talent when wielding magic. Though it is not for this that he can claim respect; it is for his tattoo shop wherein he applies artwork to the bodies of his customers. He is also a member of the Burning Tusk Tribe.

The reason that I write of him now was that some days following my brief exchange with Urukha, we spotted each other in Orgrimmar and sat for a chat. We spoke of his mate, whom I have not met personally but in the past I have witnessed her effect on him. Together they expect a tiny one by the end of summer.

We also discussed a recent series of riots in the city, centered around displeasure with Garrosh as Warchief. I have not participated in his campaign in Pandaria, in accordance with my beloved’s wishes, but have heard stories of the trials and disdain the elves endured under his command. Now it seems the trolls have taken to openly opposing him. As one of the race Gren’mazi was worried that the Kor’kron would imprison him for that alone, and put his pregnant mate in danger.

When I asked for his advice on how to manage time in the city, as I still have some business there, he replied in a rather cryptic manner, that I should make sure to know who the enemy really is.

This caused me to think of Urukha and wonder if a similar calculation prompted her to contact me.

A Deserved Apology

It is rare that I would claim to deserve something, least of all positive impressions such as happiness or love. Yet when I am wronged, and the source of that wrong is so utterly and violently disconnected to the truth of it, I expect justice.

For Urukha it took this long to apologize. It is what I wanted, as I had told Nemeiah the day before. My anticipation was that Urukha would demand to share blame again when there clearly was none to be shared. It was she who treated me poorly. Now, she admitted it. 

Still I calculate that there are outside factors that I am not witness to that influenced the concession of guilt, but those are not impactful enough to pursue. Our lives continue in different directions, as I told her. There will be no renewal of our friendship. I accepted the apology and then took my leave shortly after.

This is a Mistake

This may be the stupidest thing I have done since I attended Darkbreak's assembly without familiarizing myself with his protection. Which unfortunately was not very long ago, and does not flatter the integrity of my self-preservation calculations.

Yet when she contacted me without invitation, I eventually agreed to direct meeting with Urukha. Nemeiah approves of that decision, though I know without asking that my beloved does not. With all things considered I tend to trust D.A.'s pragmatism more than I do Nem's optimism, but for the latter's sake I promised that I would give Urukha a chance to explain herself.

I simply carry exceedingly low expectations.

Cross Loss

As I had read was probable, one of the rose crosses has not survived to produce seeds. And there is a second rose hip on one of the Kaelyn bushes that has me concerned. While my beloved tried to reassure me, it is difficult not to worry for all the rest.

Thinking on it, it must seem so ridiculous to an outsider to be so invested in these plants. Yet I believe the emotional attachment is due to my own inability to reproduce. That is, without raising something already dead or giving my powers to someone already living. Neither of which is palatable to me now. Vividly I remember Nemeiah’s horror when I created the black roses originally, by destroying a fresh red bloom with necromancy.

This is the only way that from nothing, I can create life. Growing flowers in a garden.

---- And so many elves have children without a thought. Then they complain of the symptoms, consequences and responsibilities. They forget how fortunate they are simply to have a choice.