Unto Shadow #25 - Bad News

I contacted Westlynn expecting to receive a lighthearted conversation that would settle my mind, but this was not what happened. She described herself as tense, and her sister as unwell. Poisoned by an arrow and the offender had not yet been captured.

As one may imagine, I was very displeased and felt extremely ineffective when she said that my physical presence would aid. But this is not possible, as I am here in the shadow realm and have not the means to return. She understood this, yet neither of us took comfort from it I think. Her family, in addition, seems to despise the concept of hiding.

For now I will try to let her be and contend with the issue without interrupting. I can only wish her success.

Unto Shadow #24 - Our Pain

After gently delivering the news of the Lord’s verdict to my beloved, D.A. confessed to ever more disrupted sleep. This is due to nightmares, which are unfortunately common. I am accustomed to my own but it is another matter entirely to see my beloved struggle with them.

I asked if speaking of the nightmares would assist. D.A. did not describe them in detail but said that there was pain. The pain of others, and those who could not wake. We agreed that remaining “in” for the remainder of the day was wise, to try and catch up on rest for both of us. My mind was occupied already with what I still wished to do, though.

While we spoke, the shadow-servant girl had been working in the room, and quite suddenly exited when I called for her attention. I have since confirmed that it is the same girl that waited on me the last time I stayed here. The reason for her hasty departure became clear when I found the scrawled note she left.

Our pain. Is all that it says.

Unto Shadow #23 - Verdict

My rest was interrupted by a summons from the Lord, requesting my presence in his study to speak. He wished me there alone. So to obey, I left behind a worried beloved in the room.

He asked a few more questions surrounding the circumstances of my escape from the realm the last time. I believe I managed to describe those horrific minutes with calm and clarity. But he pressed further on related issues and I became terse. It was the comment I delivered about agonizing screams that seemed to actually impact him. I doubt that was due to general morality, however.

To my surprise he then acknowledged the difficulty of the questions and apologized. Then he offered his conclusion regarding my beloved’s condition. It is caused by the imprisonment and torment during our last time here. Thus, it is not what I thought. To my relief, what I have done has made it more manageable and not worse. 

But this does not resolve the illness. More research and time is required, and I witness in my beloved increasing strain. Yet I will classify this news as progress.

Unto Shadow #22 - From Home

I have not mentioned the conversations with Mirtai and Nathan, but they have been in communication with me and my beloved since arriving here. Although we may joke about them destroying each other in our absence, the two seem to be coexisting in nonviolent fashion.

Nathan said that it was cold at the house, and that the snow now remains on the ground. The two horses that he cares for, Chance and Fate, have been eating their share and keeping warm. Nathan maintains the wood pile and has added a porch, he says, to his cabin with the spare lumber from the demolished shack.

Mirtai read a letter to me that came from Kruega. She is anxious without us there. Some may be, I think, because I am not actively defending the property (although Nathan is). And some is because she is alone with him. But I do not know - and have not asked - what their status is. I told Nathan before departing that it was none of my business.

Both of them are missed greatly. Along with the house, however much smaller it is than this castle. And the garden, where my roses sleep dormant. And Maag. And Nemeiah, and Westlynn. And the rest.

I miss all of it.

Unto Shadow #21 - Sort of Love

While waiting for the Lord to give his verdict, I asked my beloved a silly question. Or at least, I presented it as a silly question and this was received favorably. I wanted to know if D.A. felt that the others here loved each other.

The inspiration for the question comes from a lack of understanding of these people. Even if they are, in some respects, closer to family in either realm than anyone else is. Their arrangement here on one level makes sense; and on the emotional level it makes none at all. Thus, I wished to know what my beloved thought of it all.

The answer was that there seemed to be some sort of affection between the Lord and each of the Ladies, and at least respect in return. Or they may be hiding their full regard, as I am accustomed to. D.A. concluded that the arrangement appeared to be more communal than romantic; to which I immediately affirmed that I preferred the latter. We agreed on that.

But this does not quell the suspicion that Victora seems to hold that we intend to integrate with the group. That is not true, of course. Without being accused though it is difficult to dispel.

Unto Shadow #20 - Envy

As time passes in this realm, my “castle envy” fades. The novelty of the grandeur of the place carries less impact now than it did, particularly as I discover more of what is here. And the more I speculate and learn of our hosts.

Which is not to say that I do not appreciate material comforts. The Lord and his Ladies have built a fine life and place to reside here. Yet all that they have is not what I want. I did not recognize and acknowledge that to my beloved until recently. It was foolish of me to suggest that being here would lessen the pride either of us had for what we have made together. After all, we have fought bloody hard enough for it. 

Unto Shadow #19 - Meeting

D.A. and I met with the Lord and I told him of my beloved’s ailment. I had agreed beforehand to do the majority of the speaking; my beloved prefers to keep all capabilities somewhat hidden and underestimated when possible. However, it is unlikely that the Lord was entirely fooled.

When he invited us to his study, Victora moved to accompany us. The Lord interceded and asked for privacy. She displayed a distinct displeasure at being disallowed. Matched, perhaps, by my relief that she was not present to hear the account.

After asking his questions and extracting more information from me than I desired, the Lord said that it may take days to uncover a cause and remedy. He also entrusted me to control my beloved’s behavior should it turn deviant again. This is only fair, as we are bringing trouble into his halls. It is my hope, though, that this meeting with the Lord was the most difficult part of the recovery.

But that is not my expectation.

Unto Shadow #18 - A Request

After a disturbing revelation regarding that object in the castle library, I suggested to my beloved that we ask for an audience with the Lord for his counsel as soon as possible. That is so that we may leave as soon as possible. I was rather upset when I realized what that artifact could be doing. That is, that it ultimately could be what creates all of these shadow-servants and does so in terrifying manner.

Another very good reason not to bring a mortal to this realm. However curious one like Westlynn may be.

D.A. accepted the explanation, and we decided to stay away from the library. Kaelyn, ever the gracious hostess, agreed to carry our request for counsel to her Lord.

Unto Shadow #17 - Mystery Woman

One interesting mystery did emerge from the ill-fated tour with Kaelyn. The Lord keeps an exquisite suit of women’s armor in one of his halls. I admired it, having not seen such a set with that eminence of craftsmanship and elegance. When I asked her if it belonged to another relation, Kaelyn appeared sad and answered that it had.

Yet she would not utter the owner's name due to the Lord’s wishes. So the circumstances of the armored woman’s passing are unknown. But that has not prevented me from pondering on it.

And no, I am not planning to steal the armor. That would be rude.

Unto Shadow #16 - Unwelcome Reminder

When Kaelyn embarked on a tour of the castle with my beloved and me, one of the places that she showed was the library. Obviously this intrigued D.A. mightily, until we actually saw it.

It did have the old books, tomes and scrolls that were expected, but in the center stood an artifact too familiar. For a very terrible reason. It was similar, though not identical to something that I saw in the Web when searching for my beloved.

After first diving into the books (not literally), D.A. saw the artifact and went ghastly pale. We were forced to retreat to our room and rest soon after. I do not know why the Lord would keep such a thing here.

Unto Shadow #15 - Far Away

Through the shadow I have kept contact with the living world periodically, primarily with Nemeiah and Westlynn. And Mirtai and Nathan, of course, who were notified of our arrival. Conversing with them has been most helpful in maintaining my spirits and noting the passage of time.

Both Westlynn and Nemeiah prepare to depart for the new lands. Nem has not received word from the Bishop for some time and believes that he may be found there. She worries for him, but also wishes to continue with her studies in order to be ordained. I asked her to contact me when she arrived at a conclusion to her journey, whenever she does.

Westlynn I worry for less because she hopes to travel with a group. I presume that they have guards. She voices many questions regarding this realm and my activities in it, the hosts and my accommodations. It is not just on these topics though; our conversations range as widely as they ever have. Her younger sister, Yuliia, happened upon us in Silvermoon and I was able to greet her as well.

Unto Shadow #14 - Shadowcaster

This was the gift my beloved gave me yesterday, when noting the day. There was no discussion or emotional displays this time. Only quiet and enjoyment of each other’s company before being interrupted for the day's activities with the others.

The silvery disc is affixed to my cloak and should augment the mask in its powers. I was horribly tempted to test it on our hosts, but my beloved advised against it despite the potential amusement. 

I asked both Nemeiah and Westlynn to think of me on the day, although I was not explicit on the reason with Westlynn. The day did not seem as terrible to me, so perhaps they did help from afar.

Unto Shadow #13 - Birthday

"There is just one part of all of this that I do not understand. I know why I was made. By whom, when, where, and how. But I do not know what I did that was so terrible that I deserved to be made thus."

Since uttering those words I have elected to not know. The day is marked, regardless. May it pass without memories.

Unto Shadow #12 - Gifts

My beloved and I brought gifts to our host and hostesses out of gratitude for their hospitality. They were selected with a mind for individual personalities (or in Sophia’s case, a shortage thereof). I was the one who managed the presentations.

Sophia was easy to please because she seems to be satisfied with anything shiny. Kaelyn received something pretty, or at least I think it is, but am biased because it was one of my better rose hybrids. And to Victora I gave something ostentatious. I had no use for that gaudy crystal chalice. She hinted that she did not either, in her ambivalent response.

For the Lord it was difficult to envision what to give a man already in possession of wealth and power. Except something with more power. An undamaged relic found during one of my most fruitful ventures. But I confess additional motives in the desire to remove that object from my treasury, and my calculation that anything to please and strengthen an ally in this realm is not wasted.

He expressed his surprise that I had not kept it for myself. Of the ladies, I believe Kaelyn was the most grateful despite her gift's simplicity. I expect that Victora has already shattered her own gift against a wall somewhere.

It really is impossible to satisfy everyone, I suppose.

Unto Shadow #11 - The Ladies

There are still three of them.

The eldest is named Victora. She does not like me in the least. Nor does she care for D.A., I think. But that is somewhat irrelevant in this context, as her Lord accepted us as guests and as his senior companion she must behave. She is the dark-haired one that I wrote of months ago. So pleased she had appeared then, when I ventured into the Web for certain destruction. Conscious of her rank, she wields it whenever possible.

The blonde-haired one has not changed either. She is called Sophia and does not possess a talent for conversation. Her talents rest below the neck. She is not vicious though and is manageable.

The third has red hair, and unintentionally revealed a different aspect of the Lord when he introduced her to my beloved. Her name is Kaelyn. Of the three she seems the most compassionate and aware. The Lord complimented her maturity despite being the youngest, and I detected the hint of affection between them. I did not expect that of him. In later calculations I concluded that he hides it.

Unto Shadow #10 - Lodgings

The castle is very grand inside. Although it appears extremely empty unless one knows about the shadow-people that behave as servants. My beloved and I have been given a suite that is larger than the accommodations I utilized before.

We agree that there is some intent to the luxury that is not pure generosity. But whether to impress or intimidate is not clear.

The servants are still silent and helpful. I do wonder if the one lingering about is the same as the one before but do not know their longevity. A sentimental piece of me hopes that it is her.

Unto Shadow #9 - Arrival

It took some days to locate this journal, because I left it in my saddle bags and have been preoccupied with our hosts. But as I wrote before, my beloved and I have found the Lord of the Castle and he granted hospitality to us.

He did vaguely chastise me for delaying my return though. I explained that the circumstances were too severe to both remain in the realm and survive at the moment I last departed. I expect that soon he will ask for clarification; and I dread describing that moment.

My beloved was suitably impressed with the castle and its forbidding location. As before the Lord escorted us through the jungle and remarked on our “wonderfully delicious youth,” which was not praise necessarily. In honesty it meant that our method of travel was primitive and plain compared to his. That is a theme that surrounds me in particular here.

For now I am content that we arrived in safety, but not in complete ease. We do not forget that our hosts are just as dangerous as the rest of the inhabitants of this realm. If better mannered and dressed.

Unto Shadow #8 - The Others

We have found them.

Unto Shadow #7 - Storm

To my dismay, it can storm and rain here. The chill of the land combines with the damp for a truly miserable experience. There was an opportunity to camp before the storm began but I chose to continue moving forward to a safer area.

The consequences were an extremely unhappy, soggy cat and beloved. But from here it should not be much longer to the Lord’s forest. Then things should be more comfortable. Materially, at the least.