Meaning

Time spent in the shadow realm away from those called friends and acquaintances prompted me to reconsider the value of those relationships gained and maintained. Including risk and grief into the calculations.

The answer I think depends on the purposes which I and they bend themselves to (or do not, in many cases). If I died in the realm of shadows I would have died believing that my existence had meaning. I was doing what I was designed to do. What was proper and worthwhile: finding and rescuing my beloved. But for so many others they seem to have no purpose, no meaning, and their minds are muddled with superficial conflicts.

I see one make a speech about honor and then do nothing. I see others cry over the smallest social slight. Or fret when a current lover drifts away. And these same ones claim to be in love with the new interest in the next moment. It is as though their entire lives gain meaning only by gratifying indulgences and seeking the approval of others.

Months ago my beloved warned me that I would be weakened by lowering my guard to these sorts. I was not designed for petty pursuits, though I was given the capacity to understand them. Perhaps this is why I am sought for advice sometimes; and why I become so irritated when I see it ignored.

But the Regent has another theory, which I will write on at another time.