Red and Black Sails

Though I am mostly confined at home, my mind is not. Images of the ship and the incident there disrupt my rest and cut deep into my patience. I wanted to find it, to know where it would be safe to go once I move about again.

At first I assumed a neutral port due to the brutality involved. Mercenary types could be paid to tolerate all types of fanatical ventures. However, some investigation from Westlynn and my own observations invalidated the assumption. I then asked my beloved to look somewhere very specific. It drained D.A.’s energy to search over the distance, for which I apologized, but the result was conclusive.

The ship was there. Not near us, fortunately, but in what appears to be its home port. It is decidedly not neutral, and not friendly. It makes this infinitely more difficult to calculate a resolution for. At least though, I know where it is.

Buds

The roses have woken and are making buds. The apple tree has not yet bloomed but it may in a month or so. There are a few other things I plan to add to the garden once spring is settled in.

Monster, Part 2

In stories, monsters that present a moral dilemma to the heroes offer a significantly more complicated challenge. To overcome them, the hero must decide if the redeeming features of the monster outweigh the terror and carnage they caused. Or at least, try to discover what has made the monster.

Too often I think authors overlook how many monsters the heroes create themselves. Out of prejudice, fear, territorial expansion, and so on. Is it the fault of the wolf that attacks the child wandering too close to her den of pups, or is the fault of the parent for letting go of the child’s hand? The wolf loses in every scenario. So does the parent, but their grief feels vindicated with the beast’s death. Now, they have justified purpose in eradicating every wolf in the wild and gain laud and honor for doing so.

However, there are some monsters that are of their own creation. Those made from greed, ambition, jealousy, hatred borne of perceived or real wounds from society. Those desperate to blame anyone other than themselves for their faults. They destroy so that the world can feel their pain and indignation.

Then there are the monsters with no choice other than to be what they are. Perhaps they were created to be hero-fodder or a tool to serve a dark master, but otherwise they would choose not to harm or disturb anyone. Their lives are suffering from the moment they emerge until they are defeated. For them the only victory is a swiftly sought end. An escape into the eternal, blissful abyss.

Joint Hunt

This time, my beloved accompanied me. Or it may be more accurate to call it the reverse. I did not want D.A. to go alone. In spite of my state I felt much better after finding quarry and returning home with both of us intact. My beloved must have known this, I think.

It also saved the furniture and the garden from my temper.

Disfigurement

I cannot think of a kinder or more appropriate word to describe it. With my beloved’s attentive care, the marks on me begin to fade. I had not spoken of them much, other than saying that I was eager for them to be gone.

We each carry on our bodies the consequences of a life chosen together, in defiance of all the realms. My beloved’s devastating injury can be covered and masked, but it will never heal. Mine are harder to hide but are not permanent. We manage in different ways with the support of each other.

“Do you think I am ugly now?”

Never.

One Step Forward

A disagreement with Westlynn concurrent with my debacle has made it difficult to concentrate on an efficient resolution. I did leverage Westlynn to conduct a particularly vital errand but beyond this, nothing with her felt comfortable.

And no matter the circumstances it is difficult to ask someone for help when you are upset with them.

Details are unnecessary for these pages. She invited me for a ride. We spoke of Mayhem, my rate of healing, and then I asked the question looming in my mind. I wanted to know if she held the same disappointment as I after the argument. Her violently emotional response startled me. She defended her feelings (with words I would rather she not have used) and in return questioned how I could have doubted her over something she felt was so trivial.

It was not trivial to me though, and I do not think she understood this entirely. Which is in part my fault for not telling her the entire story. I still disapprove of her actions. But she convinced me that this is of little moment compared to what has been gained during our acquaintance. In the end, we settled the heart of the dispute and were comfortable again.

Still, I wonder how she would react to my answer had she turned my own question back at me.

Learn to Lie

I contacted Nemeiah and we updated each other on our current challenges.

Though she aspires to be a priestess, of late I have noticed a tendency for her to misplace the exact truth of things if she does not wish to worry me. Before she has downplayed the damage received from healing others with the Light. Or simply not told me all of the circumstances that prompted her to use it.

Though I have not mentioned it specifically, I am very pleased by this change. If she learns to lie (and to do it well) this is another way to protect herself without wielding weapons or physical strength. Kindness is a shield but an imperfect one. It works only on those who value it. Deception works on everyone else.

Of course when the truth of her latest threat walked by and Nem confessed the reality of the danger I was not as happy. But it is the situation, not that she tried to conceal it that bothered me.

In return I told and showed her what had happened to me. And then I lied.