Shoes

Apparently they represent one’s social status, power, and self-worth. I have boots. I assume that these function in the same manner. Fortunately I do have one pair that is not made utterly of metal. Although the armored ones do have their purpose as well, particularly with regard to small, aggravating creatures like imps. This topic may not seem relevant to current events, but it is.

Symptoms

My beloved retains no memory of shouting at me, or any of the other violent outbursts of late. When in control, there is exhaustion and often unhappy emotions. Confusion. It is distressing to witness and then be unable to explain why it is occurring.

My initial thought was that it may be a partial possession; but I do not know of a being capable of both crossing my wards and influencing my beloved’s unique physiology. So it may be something from within. Possibly as a result of the time spent in the shadow realm. Neither of us holds the requisite knowledge on-hand to conclude with certainty however. Nor would Nem, I assume, because her studies are lighter (in the literal sense).

At the least, now I have secured D.A.’s cooperation and we are resolved on a path.

Untitled #5

"If you are going to be difficult I will just go back to my books. I'm tired of you being so over-protective anyway. 

"You are not well. Can you not see it?"

"Just go away and leave me alone!"

False Spring

What a fool I have been. Idly enjoying these last months with my beloved as though every danger had been eliminated. Ignoring signs that the trauma from the shadow realm had not healed.

So concerned have I been for the security of this property that I did not acknowledge the subtle signs of warning within my own chambers. I was so consumed with pleasing my beloved that I dared not question or press on uncharacteristic or troubling behavior. Now D.A. is unwell and information is scarce.

Like a rodent that burrows into its hole and assumes that spring reigns eternal outside, simply because it is warm and comfortable inside. But the blizzard still howls even though I elected, until now, not to hear it. 

Important Introduction

I introduced Nemeiah to my beloved. Although not directly or in person. My primary concern was that the method D.A. used to communicate with her would give Nem pause at the least, and at the most invoke her disgust and revulsion. But neither occurred.

Nem was quite polite and friendly, even curious of the shadowy magic my beloved employed. While more time is needed to consider this surprising result, my first conclusion is that I underestimated either her hatred of the shadow or her trust in me. Presently I am more inclined to think the latter.

Associations

Lately I have given thought to whether it is correct or iniquitous to judge someone by their associations. That is, if they keep unsavory company if it is fair to remember the faults of others around them, or simply view the individual alone to determine worth.

The difficulty is that the individual may have confirmed favorable traits. So favorable that they attract the attention of those who take advantage of such generosity and tolerance, who are themselves less deserving. Or the opposite: the individual presents fewer personal virtues but has access to valuable contacts.

I believe it is too simple to judge solely on individual merits no matter how ideal or romantic the notion. No person – even one as reclusive as my beloved or I – exists without influential associations. 

Hidden

I mentioned, journal, some work done to the carriage. While it was much more intensive (I actually shooed Nathan away so there would be no interruptions from him or Mirtai when she looks for him), it was not the only project of this kind on the manor.

Some time ago my beloved conceived of combining certain magics of ours to mask the entire grounds. I was not certain if it was possible at first, but now any that pass will see nothing more than a ruined stead and have no interest in examining it closer. It is the same for the carriage. It will not inspire investigation by unwelcome eyes.

Of course, the application of this spell expended many days’ worth of energy, but I am less concerned that the recent upheaval between the Horde and Alliance shall result in disruptive visitors.