Ever since I returned from Darkbreak’s ship, I noticed
that Mirtai stayed absent from my sight. Nathan was about a bit more but I did
not distract him from his work. When I finally did, and asked about her, I realized
that she was avoiding me.
She has always been afraid of me. When we were with
Viere she could hide behind him and taunt me. She flaunted her superior status whenever
possible. After his defeat by the Nath’rezim, she sought me out and I nearly
killed her. While intimidation can be a strong tool of control, it is now
inappropriate to wield it with her. I do not want her to fear me.
Then my beloved revealed that Mirtai’s avoidance was a
deliberate machination. D.A. had asked her and Nathan to give space to both of us while I
recovered. Though I was told they did not mind and it was done out of love, I
wonder if more distress was caused by forcing separation.
Nemeiah recommended that I speak to Mirtai when I felt
better. She referenced our own paranoid beginnings, for which, as with Mirtai I
cannot entirely calculate how we overcame the distrust. In this recent
conversation it became clear to me that Nem and I see anger very differently. But
that is a topic for a different page.
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